alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize