Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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