she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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