i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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