I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Are my feet made of real feet?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
