In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
