Jerry, you need to find god
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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