So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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