So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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