The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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