Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
