my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Randomize
