So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
no you cant smoke seaweed
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize