Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Randomize