i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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