Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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