we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Don't tell me you're on acid again
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize