i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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