i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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