Dual....:-)
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
