I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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