its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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