Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
