He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
