Already got asked if we're dating
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize
