dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
