I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize