420 ftw
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
