capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
