you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
