Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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