4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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