im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
