who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Duck Duck Cougar?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize