i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
