I can text with my tongue
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
