looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize