Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
