Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
