the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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