what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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