A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
