Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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