Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
