Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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