Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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