I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
