have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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