I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
