Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
