Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
everyone is single if you try hard enough
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize