I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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