Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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