thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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