grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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