so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
please come you make the beer taste better
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
