Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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