I'm lost and stupid without you.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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