So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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