your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
