i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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