wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
